Friday, February 27, 2009

Kohlrabi Downed by Fennel

In an alarming incident in my kitchen last week, a giant kohlrabi came flying in through the window looking to establish a colony of its Gongylodes Group, an offshoot of Brassica oleracea (of which kale--and broccoli, cabbage, and brussels sprouts--is a member). This cosmonaut of the vegetable universe had been hurtling through space for weeks looking for a fertile landing ground, when its instruments detected the utopian plane of my kitchen island.

I shrieked in terror at this alien green menace and stood paralyzed as my Global chef's knife slipped from my grasp with a shivering clatter. Luckily, fennel had been lurking, as usual, behind the fridge and made a heroic flying leap to tackle the kohlrabi with ease.

Blinking at the ceiling from my now-prone position on the kitchen floor, I thought of Joan of Arc and drew strength from her to enter the fray. Wielding my sub-zero-treated stainless steel, I reduced the pair into a mass of slivers for a salad, which was enjoyed by all. Both can be eaten raw, sauteed, or roasted.


Paula said...

joan of arc! lurking fennel! i love this post.

Adam Ahmed said...

Now I know how Joan of Arc felt! (Now I know how Joan of Arc felt.)

kale daikon said...

Ha! If I'd thought of Morrissey instead, I'd still be on the floor right now, maybe with the knife to my own neck.